Toilet Training

Toilet training is a crucial milestone in a child’s life, requiring patience, understanding, and support from parents. This involves not only transitioning from diapers to the toilet but also fostering independence, body-awareness, and confidence. In this article, you will learn how toilet training in children progresses, the methods parents can apply, and the mistakes that should be avoided.

1. What does cleanliness development mean?

Potty training describes the natural process in which children learn to control their bladder and bowels, and to use the toilet independently. This developmental step is closely related to the physical, cognitive, and emotional maturity of the child.

• Physiological Control: Children must first learn to recognize the signals of their body and consciously respond to them.
• Emotional Maturity: A child needs a certain degree of trust in themselves and their environment in order to successfully accomplish this step.
• Cognitive Abilities: Children develop an understanding of when and where it is appropriate to use the toilet.

2. Phases of Cleanliness Development

The development of cleanliness occurs in several stages, which can vary in length depending on the child. There is no “correct” age, as each child has their own individual developmental path.

Early Signs (approx. 18-24 months)

• They retreat to go to the diaper.
• They show interest in the toilet or in the potty.
• They stay dry for extended periods (at least 2-3 hours).

Beginning of Control (about 2-3 years)

• Children start to consciously control their bladder and bowels.
• They can express that they “need to go,” and achieve initial successes in potty training.

Independence (around 3-4 years)

• Most children manage to reliably stay dry during the day by the age of four.
• However, nighttime dryness can take longer and is often not fully developed until the age of 5-6 years old.

3. Methods of Potty Training

Potty training should be gentle, playful, and without pressure. Here are some trusted approaches:

• Provide a Potty or Toilet Seat:
  • Place the potty in a location where your child feels comfortable, e.g. in the bathroom.
  • A child-friendly toilet seat can also be helpful in alleviating the fear of using the big toilet.
• Creating Routines:
  • Implement fixed times for the potty, e.g., after waking up, after meals, or before going to bed.
  • Routines provide your child with security and help them adapt to the new process.
• Utilizing Positive Reinforcement:
  • Praise your child for every advancement, no matter how small it is. Phrases like “You did a great job!” foster motivation.
  • Reward systems, such as stickers or small surprises, can additionally create incentives.
• Demonstrate Patience: Let your child go through the process at their own pace. If there are setbacks, respond calmly and understandingly.

4. Common Challenges and Solutions

Denial

• Problem: Some children show no interest in the toilet or refuse to use the potty.
• Solution: Do not put your child under any pressure. Wait a few weeks and try again. Tell stories or show books that playfully handle the topic.

Relapses

• Problem: Even children who were already toilet trained can regress, e.g., with changes such as moving or the birth of a sibling.
• Solution: Show understanding and remain patient. Relapses are normal and no cause for concern.

Bedwetting at Night

• Problem: Becoming dry at night often takes longer than during the day.
• Solution: Use night-time diapers until your child regularly stays dry. Praise your child for every dry night, but do not punish them if they wet themselves.

5. Toilet Training and Cultural Differences

The approach to toilet training varies greatly among cultures. In some cultures, potty training begins at infancy, while in others it doesn’t start until later. Parents should not allow societal expectations to pressure them and should always consider the individual developmental stage of their child.

6. What Parents Should Avoid

• Exert Pressure: Do not force your child to use the potty. Pressure can lead to fear and rejection.
• Punishment: Punishments when something goes wrong can harm your child’s self-esteem and hinder the learning process.
• Comparisons with other children: Every child develops at their own pace. Comparisons can needlessly stress both the child and the parents.

7. The Psychological Perspective of Cleanliness Development

The development of cleanliness is not only a physical process, but also an emotional and social one. From a psychological perspective, trust and independence are central aspects.

• Building Self-Confidence: Success experiences boost a child’s self-confidence. Praise each progression and signal that mistakes are part of the learning process.
• Promoting Autonomy: Let your child steer the process as much as possible. They should have the feeling of being in control.
• Strengthening Bonds: A loving and patient guidance during potty training strengthens the bond between parents and children.

8. When Professional Support is Beneficial

Sometimes, potty training can be more challenging than expected. Here are some situations where professional help could be useful:

• Your child still shows no signs of bladder control after their 5th birthday.
• Your child has a great fear of the toilet or the potty.
• Frequent bedwetting or soiling without any discernible cause.

A pediatrician or a child and adolescent psychotherapist can provide valuable support in such cases.

9. A Natural Process

Toilet training is a natural process that requires time, patience, and empathy. Parents should lovingly support their child, without applying pressure or setting unrealistic expectations. With a positive attitude, clear routines, and lots of praise, children can confidently master this important developmental step. And even when setbacks occur, they are part of the learning process – every step forward counts.