Sexting – Sextortion

Sexting and cyber blackmail: How to protect your child from digital blackmail.

What is Sexting and Sextortion?

Sexting refers to sending intimate or revealing images and videos via digital media – whether through WhatsApp, Snapchat, Instagram, or other messenger services. Teenagers often do this out of curiosity, first love, or because they give in to peer pressure or an online contact. What seems harmless can quickly spiral out of control.

Why is Sexting so common?

Many teenagers believe that sexting is a form of trust and intimacy. They assume the other person will respect the images and not share them. Social media also contributes to this view: it often promotes the idea that sharing revealing images is normal – whether through influencers or peer pressure among friends.

The problem is: once an image or video is sent, you lose control over it. It can be saved, forwarded, or spread in groups. This is exactly what perpetrators exploit in so-called sextortion (sexual extortion).

Sextortion is a form of digital blackmail in which perpetrators use intimate images or videos as leverage. They threaten to send the content to friends, family, or the entire internet if their victim does not meet their demands. These demands can vary:

• More intimate pictures or videos
• Payments, often via cryptocurrency or gift cards
• Personal meetings with the perpetrator

Once caught in this spiral, many teenagers feel powerless and isolated. Out of fear of shame or punishment, they speak to no one – which makes sextortion so dangerous.

How does it happen?

Many teenagers are unaware of the consequences of sexting. They trust that the recipient will keep the images private. But the internet never forgets. Once a picture is sent, it’s almost impossible to control.

Common paths into the sextortion trap:

• Voluntary sexting among teens: A girl sends her boyfriend an intimate photo. After a breakup, he threatens to share it.
• Fake profiles on social networks: A groomer pretends to be a teenager, flirts with a girl for weeks, and convinces her to undress – shortly after, the extortion begins.
• Manipulation by online contacts: Perpetrators persuade teens to undress in a video chat. They secretly take screenshots and use them as leverage.
• Hacker attacks on private accounts: Strangers gain access to private images and use them for extortion.

Many perpetrators use psychological tricks to manipulate their victims. These include:

• “We’re something special” – pretending to have a close emotional bond.
• “If you really love me, you’ll send me a picture.” – typical emotional pressure.
• “If you don’t do what I say, I’ll show everyone your picture.” – threats and blackmail.

Perpetrators deliberately use shame and fear to silence their victims. This is where parents need to step in to protect their children.

Which children and teenagers are particularly at risk?

Sextortion can affect anyone, but there are risk factors:

• Young people aged 10 to 17, who are still learning how to manage their privacy online.
• Children with low media literacy who don’t realize that images can be saved or shared.
• Teenagers who crave attention, such as likes and compliments on social media.
• Youth with low self-esteem, who are more easily pressured.
• Children with little parental supervision who roam social networks freely.

Which platforms are especially risky?

Sextortion can happen anywhere, but is especially dangerous on:

• Messenger services like WhatsApp, Snapchat, and Telegram, because they enable private chats and self-deleting images.
• Social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok, where strangers can message teens directly.
• Gaming platforms like Discord or Fortnite, which offer private messaging options.
• Livestream apps like Omegle or Chatroulette, where kids are randomly connected with strangers.

Warning signs: Is my child affected?

If children or teens are victims of sextortion, they often show certain behavioral changes. Typical signs include:

• Sudden mood swings, withdrawal, or anxiety
• Secretive behavior with phone or computer
• Avoiding certain apps or social media
• Unexplained cash withdrawals or gift card purchases (if extortion money is demanded)
• Fear of social contact or panic when receiving messages

If your child is affected by sextortion, they will likely feel ashamed and won’t speak about it. The more open and understanding you react, the more likely your child will confide in you.

How can you protect your child?

Education instead of control

Talk to your child about sexting without judging. Explain that images on the internet are never truly safe – even if someone promises to delete them.

No pressure, no blame

If your child has already engaged in sexting, avoid scolding or punishing them. That would only make them less likely to tell you next time.

Teach media literacy

Discuss which information is safe to share online and which is not.

Protect privacy

• Regularly check privacy settings in social networks.
• Do not accept strangers in messenger apps or on Instagram.
• No webcam chats with unknown people.

Discuss an emergency plan

Encourage your child to contact you immediately if they receive suspicious requests.

Use technical safety settings

• Messenger apps can be set so only contacts can send messages.
• Social networks can be configured to block messages from strangers.

What to do if your child is affected?

• Stay calm – even if you’re shocked.
• Never meet demands!
• Secure evidence – take screenshots of the chats.
• Block and report the perpetrator.
• Seek support (police, lawyer, helplines).

In summary

Sexting and sextortion are serious threats to children and teenagers. But instead of issuing bans or instilling fear, it’s more important to talk openly about the risks and empower them. Your child should know they can talk to you about anything – without fear of punishment or blame.