Parents of Children with mental health Problems

When a child or teenager suffers from a mental illness, it often changes the entire family life for parents. Along with concern for your own child, feelings of shame, guilt, and overwhelm can also emerge. This is particularly true when it comes to teenagers, who are in a sensitive stage of development; a mental illness can make life challenging for the entire family. However, it’s important to know: You are not alone. Mental illnesses are a part of life, just like physical ailments, and there are ways that you and your child or teenager can overcome this challenge. This article is intended to inspire courage, reduce feelings of guilt, and provide concrete tips on how parents can support themselves and their children or teenagers.

Letting Go of Guilt: You Haven’t Done Anything Wrong

Feelings of guilt are among the most common reactions from parents when faced with their child or teenager’s mental illness. Thoughts such as “Was I too strict?”, “Did I spend too little time with my child?”, “Is it because of us as a family?” can be burdensome. However, mental illnesses are not a direct consequence of parental failure. They arise from a combination of genetic, biological, and environmental factors. Particularly during puberty, teenagers often face inner conflicts that can exacerbate mental problems – regardless of their upbringing.

Reflection: Write down your thoughts and critically question them. Would these allegations also be justified if they were told to you by a friend?
Mantra: Regularly remind yourself: “I’m doing my best, and my best is enough.”

Teenagers are special:

Teenagers develop a strong need for autonomy. As a result, conflicts or withdrawals may appear more serious than with younger children. Feelings of guilt often arise when teenagers distance themselves. It is important to accept that such phases are part of their development and not always a reflection of your mistakes.

Overcoming Shame: Mental Illnesses are Not Taboo

Parents of children and teenagers with mental illnesses often remain silent out of fear of being judged. This fear can be particularly prevalent among teenagers, as they worry that others might not understand or stigmatize their illness. However, this silence only exacerbates shame and isolation. Mental illnesses are not a weakness, but a part of life.

• Education Helps: The more you know about your child or teen’s illness, the more confident you will become. Knowledge helps to break down prejudices – even your own ones.
• Openness in the Right Context: Talk to people you trust. You don’t have to tell everyone everything, but being open with friends, teachers, or family members can relieve some pressure.

Strengthening Teens:

Teenagers often feel isolated in their illness and are embarrassed to talk about it. Help them find an appropriate way to cope.

Tip: Allow your teenager to decide for themselves who they want to confide in. Respect their boundaries, but offer to assist in conversations.

Accepting Help: Nobody Has to Do Everything Alone

Supporting a mentally ill child or teenager can emotionally and physically push parents to their limits. Nobody expects you to face this challenge alone. Accepting help is not a sign of weakness – it is a sign of strength.

• Therapeutic Support: Child and adolescent therapists help treat the mental problems of your child or adolescent. Family therapy can also be useful in resolving communication issues.
• Support Groups: Exchanging experiences with other parents who have faced similar situations often provides significant relief. Many teenagers also benefit greatly from peer groups, where they can meet peers facing similar challenges.

Tips for Parents of Teenagers:

• Activating Resources: School social workers, counseling centers, or youth welfare institutions can be helpful points of contact.
• Providing Freedom: Teenagers often need retreats to deal with their illnesses. At the same time, clear structures and conversations should not be missing.

Self-Care: You Must Not Forget Yourself

Especially when children or teenagers are mentally ill, parents often put their own needs aside. However, self-sacrifice helps neither you nor your child. Your well-being is crucial in order to provide long-term support.

• Schedule Breaks: Whether it’s a walk, a book, or meeting with friends – consciously grant yourself some time.
• Stress Management: Small rituals such as breathing exercises or a gratitude journal can help reduce stressful thoughts.
• Seeking support: Do not hesitate to delegate tasks to friends, relatives, or neighbours.

Special Consideration for Parents of Teenagers:

Puberty often brings additional conflicts. It is important to set boundaries – not only for your teenager, but also for yourself. Accept that you cannot always solve all problems.

Encouragement: Small Progresses Count

A mental illness does not mean that the development of your child or teenager comes to a halt. With the right support, they can learn to cope with the challenges.

• Celebrating Successes: Has your child or teenager managed a tough day? Have they talked about their feelings in therapy? These small steps forward are important – for you and your child.
• Developing Patience: Changes take time, especially during the sensitive phase of puberty. Hang in there – your dedication makes the difference.

How Adolescents Can Be Empowered:

• Letting Them Have a Say: Especially teenagers want to be taken seriously. Include them in decisions about their therapy or their daily life.
• Promoting Resources: Support hobbies, sports, or creative activities that bring joy to your child or teenager and boost their self-confidence.

Everyday Tips: How You Can Support Your Child or Teenager

• Creating Structures: Clear daily routines help children and teenagers find security.
• Promoting Communication: Regularly talk about feelings, but also respect retreat.
• Naming Emotions: Help your child or teenager understand emotions, e.g., with sentences like: “I see that you’re angry. Would you like to talk about it?”
• Providing Freedom: Especially teenagers need time for themselves to organize their thoughts.

You Are Not Alone: Networks and Resources

You do not have to shoulder the burden of your child’s or teen’s mental illness alone. There are numerous support offers available:

• Self-Help Groups: Platforms such as parent forums and special groups for parents of teenagers offer opportunities for exchange.
• Youth Groups: Many organizations offer self-help groups for teenagers, where they can meet peers.
• Therapeutic Programs: Family counseling centers or child psychiatry clinics offer accompanying parent programs.

Final Thoughts: Together, You’re Powerful

Your child or teenager doesn’t need perfect parents – they need you, just as you are: empathetic, dedicated, and loving. You don’t need to have all the answers. It’s okay to seek help and not always be strong.

Remember: You are not alone. There is support, and together you can conquer this challenge – with courage, patience, and love.